the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
