What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
