it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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