What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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