You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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