you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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