did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This is not my ceiling
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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