Do vagina's smell?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
