Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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