that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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