just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
