i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Let's get the cat blown out
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
