Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
