and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize