you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
