I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
