you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
