well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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