his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
