It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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