I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
