Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Acid is not a monday night drug
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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