i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
