their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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