I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
