I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
