Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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