I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
