Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
