Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So here I am, sexting at work.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
