They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
