just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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