I heard we made out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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