I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
