if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
