I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize