is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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