I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The uberlube is also flammable
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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