Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
