Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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