Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
