Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize