You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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