haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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