VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
