the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
