i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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