and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
