1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
