Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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