ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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