We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
