Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
