it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize