Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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