I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
id be glad to
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
