You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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