I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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