I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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