WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
