don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
